Paris in Late Winter (Feb 07)

Paris

A funny Metro sign....even funnier if you've seen "Jackass."

The Arc de Triomphe

Viewing the Eiffel Tower from the Arc de Triomphe

Viewing Sacre Couer Basilica (at the very top and back)

(Look top right) The not so "golden arches" on Champs Elysses (Once required by law to be white)

Like this MUST be the best tour company in the wrorld (Gain is my maiden name)

The Eiffel Tower at night

Looking up at the Eiffel Tower

Cris & Mike

Looking down from the 1st floor

Looking down at the lines...not too bad right now

Notre Dame gargoyles

Walking up to Versailles Palace

Looking down on Paris at sunset from just below the Sacre Couer Basilica

Ok, now everyone say "frommage." The steps at the Basilica


I think that you can figure this one out...

Napoleon's Tomb

The actual tomb

Look in the center, through the fog. It's the Eiffel Tower...really!

Ah, Paris in the spring…well…late winter

First, I have to admit that what I expected out of Paris and what I got out of it was VERY different. My friend Pam put it best when I was telling her about my trip. “It under promised and over delivered.” Heck, even Mike had fun (ha ha). Of course, we both have our own biases against the French, and many of them are well deserved. I even joked that France would be a great country if the French would just leave it. Now all that aside, I have to confess that I really did enjoy my time in Paris. In fact I would be willing to go back if the opportunity arose. However, I still have many other places that I want to see, so the only way I think that I will ever get back is to convince Mike or someone else to go to Euro Disney with me.

We left Germany by train on Friday evening and arrived at Gard du Nord (a HUGH train station) at 9pm. Our hotel was two blocks up the street so we had to get there, get changed, and get to Moulin Rouge by 10:30. Surprisingly we made it with time to spare. As “athletic shoes” were not allowed I had brought my heels in a bag and slipped into them while we waited. We had to deal with an obnoxious Russian tour group while in line, which just confirmed my feelings that Americans no longer hold the title of being “ugly traveler.” Only one of their group was in line ahead of us. As the others showed up she just kept lifting the rope and letting them in. Of course by that time there were hordes of people behind us so we had no where to go and ended up being jostled and rudely shoved. It’s time like these that make you miss the good old days when the Iron Curtain was still up. What made it even more frustrating is that the 10 “door guards” monitoring the crowed did nothing about it. On a happier note, when they got to the main door the Russian group had all pulled aside and were made to wait as the rest of the people whet into the sweltering lobby.

The coat check was mandatory and cost two Euros per person, which was just setting the mood even lower. Then we were herded into another waiting area to the side of the theater doors. We could hear that the earlier show was still going on and grew even more frustrated as our 11pm show time passed. By now everyone was packed in the different holding areas and sweating like pigs. People were fanning themselves and yet only one over head fan had been turned on. I was grateful that we weren’t trying to see the show during the summer heat wave as I think I might have passed out. Just a side note, you do not have to be dressed very fancy to get into the show. I saw quite a few people in jeans and t-shirts. I didn’t see any sneakers per the theater policy, but I figure that as long as they get their money they probably don’t really care. Finally the doors opened and we had to wait another fifteen minutes while the crown swarmed the coat check and restrooms. Mike and I agreed that the theater needed to put Disney organizers in charge at the crowd management would have been much smoother.

Once the seating began things moved a bit faster and smoother. We were seated at a table to the left of the stage on the first riser, so we would have a great view, not that any table really had a bad view. The actual theater was air conditioned which improved our mood quite a bit and the waiters were hauling ass to get everyone their drinks before the show started. Our table could seat six, but we only have five which made it a bit nicer. I became a bit worried when the first dance number stated as it was a bit lame, well it was really lame. The dancers were wearing very cheesy silver sparkly outfits. The guys were wearing what can only be described as shiny and sparkly “old lady” baseball caps; the kind that have large brims, are slouchy in the crown, and are worn by old women who use too much makeup and wear gaudy clothing. The music and dance number was not impressive and I really began to wonder what I had gotten us into.

I am delighted to report that after the first number, thing got a whole lot better. The three vaudeville acts were all unique and very entertaining. The dance numbers really improved and there was even a section where Medusa threw the “virgin” (yeah, right…not in that outfit) into a large pool of water that had lifted up on stage. In the plexi-glass pool there were about five or six large water pythons and the “virgin” had to “fight” them off. As this was going on, I began to wonder when the PETA protest would start. The swimmer had to grab the snakes, while holding their heads up, roll and dive in the water to pretend like they were trying to drown her. The snakes were more interested in going in the opposite direction from her, so it was amusing. I was not overly much impressed by the “drama.” But the staging was cool.

What I really enjoyed and had been looking forward to was the Cancan number. I was NOT let down. It was just plain fun to watch and the dancers were really impressive. Sure the girls were doing kicks and splits, but I was really blown away by the two male leads that were doing flips and splits. I would highly recommend the show to anyone with the warning that that it’s overpriced, but a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

After the show we got out coats out of hock I slipped back into my sneakers and we headed out to the street. Since it was so late, almost 1:30 am, the Metro was closed so we could either walk or take a taxi back. It was such a nice evening that we decided to walk. This was made more fun as we were headed through the heart of the Red Light District of Pigalle (called Pig Alley by the WWII US service men). For the next few block there were packs of people everywhere waiting to get into clubs or trying to get us to go into the clubs. Unlike Amsterdam, there are no window prostitutes and even the sex shop windows seemed tamer. As the crowds thinned, we stopped at a Greek sandwich shop for some take-out and made our way back to the hotel. The walk was over 30 minutes, but very safe and enjoyable.

Saturday morning we were on the Metro by ten and headed out to out first stop, the Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysees. At the Arc we had a little difficulty finding the right underground passage that would take us to the center of the twelve street traffic circle. Running across the street to get there simply was not an option, unless you seriously had a death wish. Once under the Arc it’s pretty impressive, even more impressive is watching the traffic. The cars in the circle have to yield to the twelve streets of incoming cars and many of these streets are multiple lanes wide. It’s amazing that we didn’t see a single crash while we were there. Mike paid the fee and walked the spiral stairs to the top. He said that the view was fantastic and I took his word for it.

A funny thing happened to me right after he headed up. I had seated myself on a bench at the rich tower and started reading my Rick Steve’s guide book. An older European man with a young boy came up to me and he asked me “Are you going up?”
I shook my head “no.” He then wanted to know if I had family going up. I said “yes,” but I wasn’t sure of where he was headed with this conversation. He then explained that he wanted to take his son to the top, but as he had a small suitcase it would be difficult to take with him. He asked if I wouldn’t mind watching the case for him. I said no problem, but “please hurry” as I was only going to wait as long as my husband took for his visit. He thanked me then asked if I was an American, I nodded yes, and the man and the kid went to go up to the top, leaving me with their bag. Then of course I started thinking to myself, “What if there is a bomb in there?” That would be a perfect way to blow something up and to be able to get away as some dumb tourist watched the bag with the bomb in it. So then I decided that if was my time to go I couldn’t really do much about it and I just hoped that the bomb would kill me rather than cause a painful maiming. Since I was sitting right next to the bomb chances were good that I would die even if he was a crappy bomb maker…so I just kept reading.

About fifteen minutes later the man and his son reappeared and he thanked me for watching his bomb…I mean bag. I found out that he had just taken his son to Euro Disney and that they were doing some Paris sightseeing before heading home. I just found it strange that a few years ago I would have never even thought about such an innocent situation in such a nefarious way. I also know that if someone from the Mid-East asked me to watch their bag I would now think twice. This is sad in a way.

Next we headed down the Champ Elyse which was not a fancy as I had thought that it would be. Sure, the Mercedes Benz dealer had a showroom there and there were plenty of watch shops, but I just can’t consider places like The Gap and The Disney Store as “exclusive.” The Mc Donald’s was doing good business, even if they had to paint their famous arches white. We strolled for quite a distance before getting back onto the Metro and heading towards the Eiffel Tower.

After a short Metro ride across the Seine we arrived at the stop for the Tower and had to walk a few blocks to get to it. When we first exited the station our view was blocked, but once it came into view…wow. I was really impressed. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but the architecture of the tower is really stunning and it was a lot bigger that I had imagined. The lines to go up were quite long so the decision to wait until Sunday to ride up was easy to make. We walked all over the park and even saw a tour company by the name of “Gain,” that had a cool family crest on the back. We had a very delicious, but overpriced lunch just a few blocks from the tower. The crepes were delectable.

After lunch I almost became victim to the latest Gypsy scam. As we were walking back to the Metro a group of four girls were walking towards us. Due to their head scarves I assumed that they were either local Middle Easterners or tourist. One of the girls asked if I spoke English and I assumed that they needed directions to the Tower. So I said “yes,” then she tried to hand me a piece of paper. The typed words were “Ladies and Gentleman…” I quickly put my hands up, shook my head “no” and walked away accompanied by Mike’s snickering. I realized at that point that the girls were more than likely Muslim Gypsies. During the rest of our visit we tried to simply ignore any girl that asked if we spoke English and believe me, these girls were everywhere. My guess is that they know that Americans (and perhaps the British) are very generous and they know that they can get money from a lot of us.

Next were the Catacombs, one of my most favorite stops during the trip. The catacombs are part of the giant limestone quarry that has been excavated under Paris. During the 1780’s all of the cemeteries were filling up and becoming a health hazard. So it was decided that the bodies had to be removed to make more space. Over the next 80 years over 6 million skeletons were exhumed and placed down in a huge section of the old quarry tunnels. After the project began one mayor of Paris decreed that the bodied needed to be carefully and respectfully placed in the catacombs rather than just dumped. The result is miles of passageways that are filled with artistically placed human remains. The spines, ribs, pelvis, and small bones are stacked in the back of niches, in front are the thigh bones and humorous, usually topped off with the skulls. In many of the areas the skulls are placed within the long bones to make designs such as crosses and hearts. I tried to take pictures but flashes are not allowed and it was pretty dark down there. Many of the paths are now closed off, but you can look through the gates and you see nothing but more stacked bones. It was really a macabre but amazing sight.

Our next adventure was less than exciting. We had a few hours to spend before our dinner cruise so we took the bus #69 tour as recommended in the Rick Steve’s guidebook. Well, Rick steered us wrong on this one. We would have been better off sitting in a pub just taking in the atmosphere. We did get a good view of Paris, but it wasn’t what I would consider time well spent…unlike drinking in a pub. At the end of the route I peeked into the Pere Lachaise cemetery but we didn’t have time for a stroll. We never got back there and it is something that I would like to visit if we get back to Paris.

To save time, we took the Metro back to the Seine and got in line at the dock for the dinner cruise tour. I had been hoping to buy our tickets right before the cruise, but there was not a booth there, so we just got in line and hoped that there would be space available. There were two very obvious lines forming, one for couples and one for groups, but to my amazement people just refused to acknowledge the lines and crowed up at the entrance to the dock. I think that only the Brits and Americans understand and appreciate the concept of queuing up in a line. Once the river boat moored up and we were waved on there was a little jockeying for position, but we managed to not let too many people cut in front of us. That just really pisses me off. How can people walk up and pretend to not see the line and then get indignant when you expertly elbow your way rightly ahead of them?

Although there was a little confusion when we first boarded and we were told that there were no extra seats, the head waiter came over before we walked off and asked us to wait to the side as he was sure that they would be able to seat us. We obviously didn’t get the best table, but the meal more than made up for it. The lamb shank was fork tender and most of the food was easily identifiable with only one item that I refused to eat. I simply cannot eat goose liver. I don’t care what fancy name that you give it, it’s still liver. The view of Paris at night was really beautiful and after dinner we went to the top deck and we got to see the Eiffel Tower light up and sparkle at the top of the hour. It’s really incredible to see. After dinner we headed back to our hotel as we wanted to get up early to get in line to go up to the top of the Tower.

On Sunday we were up and in line at the tower at 8:45 with only six people ahead of us. The line grew quickly and within 30 minutes there were a few hundred people behind us. The tower is set up with four elevators, one in each of the “piers,” but people are lemmings so they just got into the one line behind us. As we were waiting at least 3 bus loads of Asian tourist were dropped off and they had to cut through our line to get into the tour group line. Not a single one of that group excused themselves as they cut through the line that we were in. Well, except for the last 5 Japanese tourists from the final bus load. Then some of the Asian tour guides marched brazenly up to the ticket windows, as if they had been waiting there the whole time. Luckily the “line monitor” had shown up and made them go get back in the line with their tour groups and then even yelled at them when one of the guides tried to move the barrier to allowed her tour group to move up to the ticket window. Mind you, we had already been in line for 35 minutes and they had just arrived.

The funniest thing that we saw while waiting was the tour bus of Asians, who were dropped off, walked around under the tower with their guide, took pictures, boarded their bus again and left. There were some stereotypes being filled with that group. We were joking with the others in line that the Asian group had to hurry as there were seeing Europe in a day and had to rush because were eating lunch in London. There were also small groups of French military walking around in groups of three. I was a bit amused as I just don’t think that the Eiffel Tower is that big of a mark for terrorist (think of the logistics and how hard it would be to really get enough explosives up the tower to cause any real catastrophic damage).

In the typical European fashion the three ticket lines were a bit blurred and at 9:15, when the workers moved the entrance to three separate lines (groups, ticket holders, non-ticket holders) at least 20 people just walked up to the front and cut in. I and the American couple behind us were really pissed. The two families in front of us just took it in stride and said nothing. One couple that really upset me was the British couple who should have know better. The only think that made their cutting in front worth it was what they were wearing and the entertainment of making fun of them. She had some big ass floppy knitted hat and poncho from the 70's and he was wearing a black velour track suit with wide framed, Elvis styled, trendy sunglasses that had some fancy designer emblem on the earpiece. I think I saw Katie Holmes wearing the same thing on the cover of “People.” Let’s face it, he was wearing a women’s jogging/lounge suit and sunglasses.

Once the line finally opened the tour groups had to wait as the “singles” were allowed to purchase their tickets. Then we went inside the pier structure to board a two story elevator. The elevator goes up to the second deck of the tower and then you have to get off and board another elevator that goes to the top. Well, “Mr. Tracksuit” and his gal hadn’t noticed that the first elevator had two doors so they had pushed to stay in front of the wrong doors and ended up last in line to get onto the second elevator, so at least the rest of the people in the elevator had some justice for their cutting in line.

The view from the third floor was very impressive and if I ever get a chance to go back I’ll be sure to go up at night. Mike and I also enjoyed all of the historical information that was posted around the viewing platform. As the third floor is small, it filled up fairly quickly so after taking a bunch of photos we made a beeline for the elevator to the much larger 2nd floor platform. We ended up in the elevator alone, well except for the attendant, but it was nice to spend a minute without being squished or jostled. The view from the much larger 2nd floor platform was also very nice. You are high up enough to see everything, but close enough to really make out what it was. We then took another elevator down to the 1st viewing platform which was huge. They had a post office and a little café where I grabbed some coffee and a pain au chocolate (chocolate croissant). Visiting the tower was well worth the wait, but I was also glad that we went early so that we didn’t wait for hours in line.

We took a quick visit to Notre Dame, I opted to not go inside simply because of the long line, (but I really loved seeing the gargoyles). Then we went into the “Archeological Crypt” at the other end of the square. That was really a waste of time and money. Sure it may have been neat to see some old Roman ruins…if I hadn’t already seen so much of the same thing and in much better condition so many times before. Yes, they were “sex ruins,” just some more fucking ruins. We finished our visit quickly than we headed out to Versailles.

The rail system offers a “passport” to Versailles that includes metro, train, and entrance tickets. The train out to the palace takes around an hour then it’s a 10 minute walk to the palace. There was a lot of construction going on at the palace and the courtyard leading up to it was nothing but cobblestone which made walking a real bitch. Once inside we had handhelds that provided the tour narration. While the palace had many impressive rooms, I found myself fast forwarding through some of the descriptions as the narration was just too long winded. It would have been better if you had the option of a short or detailed tour. The world famous “Hall of Mirrors” was under partial restoration, but I was still able to get the idea of it. I was under impressed. The gardens were very beautiful but considering how much we had already walked and the fact that it was getting pretty toasty outside we opted not to stroll in it.

There were a few interesting things about the palace. King Louis XIV took what was his father’s hunting lodge, spruced it up and built onto to it, making it very opulent. After construction was complete, he degreed that it was to be the official home of the Court of France. This was so that all of the nobles and their “hangers on” were way outside of Paris and the King could really rule as he pleased. The king also kept the court busy with fancy dinners, plays and concerts. He also kept a VERY public schedule when he was in residence. This meant that he really had no privacy as people were in his bedroom when he woke up and when he retired.

After the tour we headed back into the “village” of Versailles and found a few streets filled with ubiquitous little European cafés. Surprisingly Mike suggested that we eat at a place that advertised serving American pizza, hamburgers, and Tex Mex. It was actually very good and the chicken enchiladas were the best that I have had in Europe so far. After our late lunch we headed back into Paris.

We really wanted to go the Hard Rock Cafe, but weren’t quit hungry yet when we arrived back in Paris. So we headed to the area where the Moulin Rouge and red light district are located. This vibrant and very busy neighborhood is located on the side of the hill and at the top is the Sacre Coeur Basilica. After getting off the Metro you walk about two blocks through a very busy merchant area and then take the funicular train up the very steep hill. Of course the train was broken that day and we had to walk the stairs. The park areas and stairs were filled with tourist, trinket sellers, and locals. Once we got to the top it I decided that the hike had been definitely worth the view. The very wide stairs up to the basilica were packed with people listening to a street musician and the steps in the park below were our only option for resting. Below us Paris was bathed in the glowing light of the setting sun and it was just about as perfect as one could want.

After a long rest, admiring the very and some intense people watching, we headed off through the neighborhood on an unplanned random tour. We knew that we wanted to head down the hill, but we took our time and explored a lot of the quaint side streets. As the sun finally set we reached the Moulin Rough and then took the Metro to the Hard Rock Café for a freakin’ fantastic bacon cheeseburger as one simply cannot live by crepes alone. This location had a lot of U2 memorabilia which was interesting for me to look at.

Monday was our last day and the weather had changed. Up until today the weather had been bright, sunny and a bit to warm for my taste. Now it was a lot colder and very foggy. Breakfast was a baguette with stinky French cheese as we took the Metro to the Hotel Des Invalides. This is the veterans’ hospital and retirement residence that was constructed under Napoleon. It is currently still in use as a veterans’ home but the grounds also house Napoleons’ Tomb and a really impressive war museum. This place is really worth the visit and I got a good chuckle at viewing the “awesome” war machine of France (heh heh). I’m mean, let’s face it, they have done nothing since Napoleon, other than surrender. The grounds are very close to the Eiffel tower, but the fog was so thick that you couldn’t even see where the first viewing platform was.

We still had plenty of time left before we had to get to the train station so we headed back to Champs Elysees to visit the Virgin Mega Store and The Disney Store. Well, I wanted to go to the Disney Store. We had been joking for month about eating McDonalds in Paris and as it was so convenient we did eat lunch there. Let me assure you, it is not the tourist keeping the place open as we were amongst many native French speakers who were also downing burgers and fries. While strolling down the street, a young girl wearing an iPod came up to Mike and tried the whole “Do you speak English” routine. We ignored her and went into a store. When we went out she had moved down the street, asking everyone the same question and even approached Mike again. We moved on and keep shopping. The third time she was working another block down and as she came up to Mike he said, “Don’t even.” She got the hint. Now, here is my advice for scam artist and street beggars, don’t wear your iPod while you are begging for money. It really ruins your whole “I’m living in poverty” image. After some more shopping and walking we headed back to the hotel.

Once we got our bags we went to a train station café where we were accosted by wild packs of roaming Gypsies. The girls, who are in groups of four, literally worked the crowd over going to each person and asking them if they spoke English. This wouldn’t have been too bad, except for there were about 5 packs of these girls doing this one after the other. I’m not exaggerating here. During the 20 minutes while I had some coffee and cake we were approached no less than five times. After the forth one came us I tossed up a hand before she could even ask if we spoke English. I then bitched to Mike that at least that they could was get to on a schedule as we would have already been picked clean by the other pack that had roamed through. That cracked up some of the other café patrons who were also getting very annoyed at the constant disruptions and begging. Finally the military guards walked through the area so the girls moved on to better pickings. I had one last 1664 (a fine French beer…who knew) and then we boarded our train back to Germany.